Just A Mom from Ohio

Music is so crucial to my heart. It has been a friend when no one else seemed to see me. It has been an escape. I love how music can transport me to another world. If I am sad, some songs help me to release that, or can turn it to anger. I'm sad and still in shock about the suicide of Linkin Park's, Chester Bennington , as I deeply connected to much of his vocals. His raw sound, his heartfelt scream, and occasional quiet sounds would come alive through the speakers to me. I remember when the first album came out, I was in high school, and in deep emotional pain. In my teenage world, it really didn't feel like anything mattered, especially the truth. It felt like a waste. I couldn't do anything about it, so I spent a lot of time alone and writing. When Chester sang, I felt like he was able to yell out the many feelings buried deep inside of me. I never could scream and always wanted to. I choose now to listen to mainly Christian radio. One artist I follow is Blanca...

Yesterday I finished reading the chapter titled, The Great Sadness, from the book The Shack by WM. Paul Young. And the tears flowed. There was so much overwhelming grief pouring out of my soul that I was confused about why I was even reading this book. But I know that reading this book was recommended not to make me sad but for me to grow. God does that sometimes too, doesn't he? Uses pain to help us grow. As I was wiping away the tears and blowing my nose and feeling too many feelings my temptation was to stop reading the book. But what would that really do? Then I would have been left with my feelings and had no resolution. I realize this book is technically fiction but the sadness is very real. There are lots of people that face these kinds of situations all the time, everyday, and it breaks my heart. I hate the idea of someone hurting, especially a child . So now what? Am I going to keep reading? Am I going to keep living when life feels really awful? Do I wake up each new...

The Heart of Te Fiti You can tell I'm a mom when all I can talk, think, or sing about is a Disney movie. This is somewhat new. Moana is the 1st movie my kids have had much interest in. Frozen is a close 2nd but I don't really care for that one. I genuinely like Moana. It cracks me up that my son, who just turned 2, will start asking for Moana and he will sit there for awhile to watch it. I like the theme of the movie, which I interpret as restoring the heart. When I think of the ugly parts of our world, for me, its anything or anyone that hurts children. Makes me sick inside. Causes a lot of wrestle, a call for me to study the Bible, ask God questions, pray, listen, wait, and grow in my faith. Hopefully I won't personally know anyone doing this type of harm to a child but the darkness of sin is present all around. I do encounter it and it is a struggle. When the pain from sin seeps into my life, close enough to choke on it, the fight is on. What do I do when I fe...

Anyone else out there have the song "You're Welcome" stuck in their head? It's from a newer Disney movie, Moana. I actually do like this movie better than Frozen, maybe because it is more lively and colorful. The music is better too. My daughter sings the "How Far I'll Go" water song as if it was "Let It Go". The "You're Welcome" song and the attitude of the demigod, Maui, voiced by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (whose WWF or WWE character I quite enjoyed back in the day) caught my attention. At first, I was not thrilled about my kids learning about demigods but a friend helped me out with a truth that at least I can discuss this stuff with my kids in my own home.  I can explain that other people have different beliefs and not everyone knows Jesus. But it doesn't change what we know to be true about Jesus' love for us. Back to the song, the arrogance is what stands out the most. This character is essentially ...

Earlier in the week I was listening to Hillsong Young & Free and so ignited into a joyful mood. I was worshiping in spite of negative feelings creeping in at me. Normally, I listen to Air 1 radio or K Love radio in the car. It has been about 5 years since I started listening to positive music almost constantly. I literally can feel the difference in me when I switch the channels back to regular stations. The last two days some of the secular music was playing in the car (does "secular" sound like a bad word to anyone else?). My mind was launched back into not so great memories of my past. Why? Because the music is so focused on self and often sexual things, like being wanted, touched, and frankly, lied too. It is overwhelming how much I can feel from a song. Like the popular song by Ed Sheeran, "Shape of You", that is meant to be flattering right? Should I even be flattered by a statement like that? Am I not more than a shape? Do I have more self worth than ...