Just A Mom from Ohio

Worship music is powerful. I've been listening to the new song " Jireh " by Elevation Worship and Maverick City Worship pretty much on repeat for the last 48 hours. This song is full of affirmations that I need and have needed for so long. Maybe this song could be a healing tool for God to move in your life too.  ***"FYI the new joint album "Old Church Basement" just dropped (4/30/21). So far, loving the songs!*** I'm going to break out some of the key phrases for me and talk about the lies they defeat by reminding me of truth.  Lyric   "I'll never be more loved than I am right now." 14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in l...

For 2021 my word of the year is " Jesus ".  My daughter and I were talking about my word of the year board from last year and together we came up with my new word. I usually choose a feeling word or an action but when she said Jesus, it felt perfect. And on this 3rd day of the new year, I feel confirmation that it is indeed the word and person I need to focus on.  My words in past years have included: surrender, release, content, and stand. During those years, my antenna we're up and I paid extra attention to any mention of those topics. My intention with my 2021 word is to strip away any gimmicks or facades and get to know Jesus better.  In 2020, I watched the first season of The Chosen . That show helped me look at Jesus, to humanize Jesus for me. It is hard to remember sometimes how Jesus is both fully God and fully man. I so enjoyed making connections about Jesus' relationship with the disciples, especially Peter. It was encouraging to vis...

Sitting in a room, something isn't right, I'm not sure what's off so I just keep on talking. Anything is better than that awkward silence right? Apparently not. Leaving feeling worse than I did when I got there. Sad, confused, but I am aware. This is for my good. This is progress. This is growth. She stopped me eventually, she asked me if this was working for me. No. I said, its not really. I wanted to ask what was wrong with her today. But this has been a continued theme. It's not always been this way. I've changed. Maybe she has changed. We've changed. And that's OK. Why has it been so hard for me to face truth? Why is it so hard to sit in the uncomfortable awareness of my own flaws? Just because I may not have caused all of the wounds, I can't ignore the effects of the scars. I can't continue to pick the scabs and keep on halfway healing and not take ownership. Just because something isn't working that does not mean I just ru...

Earlier in the week I was listening to Hillsong Young & Free and so ignited into a joyful mood. I was worshiping in spite of negative feelings creeping in at me. Normally, I listen to Air 1 radio or K Love radio in the car. It has been about 5 years since I started listening to positive music almost constantly. I literally can feel the difference in me when I switch the channels back to regular stations. The last two days some of the secular music was playing in the car (does "secular" sound like a bad word to anyone else?). My mind was launched back into not so great memories of my past. Why? Because the music is so focused on self and often sexual things, like being wanted, touched, and frankly, lied too. It is overwhelming how much I can feel from a song. Like the popular song by Ed Sheeran, "Shape of You", that is meant to be flattering right? Should I even be flattered by a statement like that? Am I not more than a shape? Do I have more self worth than ...