Just A Mom from Ohio

How would you answer this application question that was recently asked in a women’s Bible study: “How attached are you to your reputation? To your stuff?” In high school I wrote a poem called “Strange Popularity” and that phrase is one that makes so much sense to me. I was known more than popular. I was hardly noticed and then I was being talked about. It was uncomfortable to go from being almost invisible to being so exposed.  God has reminded me in life that my reputation is not mine to manage. I have no problems being vulnerable to a point it might alarm people. As I keep re-writing this blog, I recognize that I never could really manage what was said of me or how my life was going to go. If it wasn’t an option then, it hardly seems worth hiding now. However, I also am aware that at times our story can be taken and used in ways that do not end up reflecting well upon God. At the end of the day, that is truly all that matters.  Miriam Webster Dictionary defines “exposed” as ...

 I haven't been writing much but I still have the desire to write. I actually have several started ideas saved just hanging out in interspace. Perhaps it is the season I am in with #momlife.  Before I had this blog, even before I had kids, I had a blog. I used to type it out on my computer or write in a journal. My audience was God. My goal was to communicate. It was authentic and raw. It was a lifeline to Jesus.  I am questioning why the struggle to post much content on  Just A Mom From Ohio . In Bible study recently a topic of motivation struck me. Have I lost touch with the heart of the blog? Am I writing about God or for God?  Since I was young, I felt like God lit a fuse in the writing part of my soul. It came naturally. It was a way that I could communicate with others and with God.  I wrote a lot of poetry in high school. Writing poetry was a way to organize thoughts that I couldn't even speak. Today I would consider it a form of prayer. My heart wa...

Layers. There are so many layers. We start out as a seed in our mothers womb, which was also a seed in her mothers womb, and on and on. We have been carried around for generations unbeknownst to ourselves. Have you ever heard of such a thing as generational trauma? For me and many others, it is real. September is suicide awareness month. If you have read my blogs or posts then you will know that I am unashamed about mental health and my journey with it. There is a history of suicide in my family. There are traumas woven throughout my heritage, as like many of yours. So what else can I do but face it. I sure as heck haven't been able to escape it or the effects of it, no matter how hard I have tried. Stuffing it, numbing it, talking through it, giving it to God, are all part of my journey. There doesn't seem to be a one size fits all answer.  painted rocks for suicide awareness from a friend and her group of amazing people Today, I'm writing about a simple yet p...

have you ever been in a one-sided conversation, like nothing you said was heard at all or worse that it was totally misunderstood  have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like it didn't matter if you were really there at all, like you weren't even in the room  I wonder if that is how God feels  maybe it isn't so bad if my words aren't heard  maybe what I have to say isn't all that important  whatever happened to thinking before we speak  and choosing our words carefully  remember that philosophy  have you ever been pushed right past when actively trying to listen,  as if a ghost just walked right through you  sometimes it's like we can't win can't talk listen or stand  I wonder if that's how God feels  have you ever prayed like your life depended on it  and maybe it even did  how did you react when your life didn't end do we say thank you  do...

This poem may help you to understand my heart and the purpose of the blog. I actually thought about changing the name of the blog to "More Than Just A Mom" but for now, I am not. Something I notice lately is how often I say or think, "I just" ( I just want to get somewhere on time. I just want you to listen to me so I can keep you safe .), or how often I simply add "just" to a statement. I use it in an exhaustive way but what comes to mind for me is that God is just. That may or may not have anything to do with this poem. Anyways, here is my poem: I Am More I am not the one who has it all together I am more than a beautifully made up face I am designed perfectly by the Creator of the universe I am not the dent in the car or the chip in the paint I am more valuable than any earthly thing I am redeemed by a king who died for me I am not the problems or traumas in my life I am more than the dysfunction in my relationships I am a child of God...