Just A Mom from Ohio

Over the last year I've been finding myself sitting at Jacob's well trying to figure out what this living water is all about. The well is deep and it seems to be at the center of my existence. I'm not even trying to get there usually and I'm just there again. God keeps bringing me back. But why? What am I missing? What am I not understanding about the way Jesus speaks to the Samaritan woman? Often I feel dehydrated. I literally wake up in the night so incredibly thirsty. Keeping a glass of water by the bed seems to be a requirement. Whenever I feel anxiety building up in my soul, the Word of God is like that glass of water. If I keep it close, accessible, and chose to drink it up frequently then I am less likely to feel parched. Another way I deal with anxiousness is to work out. It distracts me and the way my body hurts reminds me that I am alive and capable. Yet it requires me to drink more water and to refuel my body. If I don't drink enough water,...

Sitting in a room, something isn't right, I'm not sure what's off so I just keep on talking. Anything is better than that awkward silence right? Apparently not. Leaving feeling worse than I did when I got there. Sad, confused, but I am aware. This is for my good. This is progress. This is growth. She stopped me eventually, she asked me if this was working for me. No. I said, its not really. I wanted to ask what was wrong with her today. But this has been a continued theme. It's not always been this way. I've changed. Maybe she has changed. We've changed. And that's OK. Why has it been so hard for me to face truth? Why is it so hard to sit in the uncomfortable awareness of my own flaws? Just because I may not have caused all of the wounds, I can't ignore the effects of the scars. I can't continue to pick the scabs and keep on halfway healing and not take ownership. Just because something isn't working that does not mean I just ru...

have you ever been in a one-sided conversation, like nothing you said was heard at all or worse that it was totally misunderstood  have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like it didn't matter if you were really there at all, like you weren't even in the room  I wonder if that is how God feels  maybe it isn't so bad if my words aren't heard  maybe what I have to say isn't all that important  whatever happened to thinking before we speak  and choosing our words carefully  remember that philosophy  have you ever been pushed right past when actively trying to listen,  as if a ghost just walked right through you  sometimes it's like we can't win can't talk listen or stand  I wonder if that's how God feels  have you ever prayed like your life depended on it  and maybe it even did  how did you react when your life didn't end do we say thank you  do...